CHARISMATA! Coaching for Abundant Life

Isn't this the most beautiful image of Mary, Our Blessed Mother that you have ever seen?! It was created by Jim Gion of Portland, Oregon and it so beautifully and perfectly depicts the joy, trust and surrender that competely enshrouded the life of Mary.  What I love the most is the vibrancy and aliveness of the pose, coupled with the loving smile.

I was so moved by this photograph that I contacted the church and they told me that their church was burned to the ground by arson some years ago and when they went to rebuild... they wanted some way to offer WELCOME to the people who would walk through the doors.  NEAT...

One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite songs says...

"live your life with arms wide open..." and I believe that this is the most wonderful and fruitful and rewarding way to live.

Receive...

If I had to put a title at the top of my autobiogrpahy... today's blog entry's title would be it.  With a subtitle of "How one little lamb was brought back from the brink"!

What would be the title of your life's story? Do you ever think of your life in those terms? The Bible tells us that we are written on the palm of God's hand... our lives are a collaboration with Him. He is the Co-Author.  We are given free will to take the plot in any direction we please. Sometimes we chose a tragic course, sometimes triumphant but God always has in mind a happy ending for each one of us.

Are we heading in that direction?  Are we seeking that same happy ending?  We won't be able to tell that by the way that we feel.  Instead, we have to know ourselves and our convictions.  We have to know where our heart is and what it truly longs for.  Do you know your Co-Author? Do you have a relationship with HIm? It's never too late to get started on that.

It's never too late for a final revision of what has been written so far.

Sometimes, as in my case, a complete rewrite is necessary... don't fear it or the process that can be painful and humbling But it is  oh so worth it because the final chapter is really just the beginning of a sequel to the greatest love story ever told.

Our motivations are almost always mixed and that’s okay. The purification of our motives is a Holy Spirit-driven process accomplished through the action of grace. For example, our personal ambition is often fueled by hope; perfectionism can be a heartfelt desire for excellence or people-pleasing could be considered the first step toward servant leadership.

These are the positives to the negative sides of these motivations. Personal ambition only becomes a problem when it is unbridled, driven by an unhealthy ‘pull out all the stops’ sense of competitiveness that disregards the rights and dignity of others.

Perfectionism becomes a liability when it results in compulsion and is accompanied by a destructive critical nature toward oneself or others. It can also lead to a false sense of personal superiority, which is the antithesis of humility.

People- pleasing is a particularly subtle trap. We often do it subconsciously and are unaware of the consequences when we adopt it as a personal style. It looks good from the outside but it has the potential to invade our integrity and violate our values or moral code. It can also backfire and turn others against us, especially those we are trying to please. People- pleasing is counter-productive when we use it to avoid necessary confrontations or employ it to manipulate or maintain control over someone or a particular situation. In these cases, People will be mistrustful of us, they will resent our interference and they will see right through us!

The best way to examine our motives is through the lens and by the light of the Holy Spirit. His light is not harsh but it facilitates a clear and balanced vision. For years I agonized over my motives. I didn’t trust myself because I didn't know myself. I didn’t know myself because I didn’t like myself and therefore I was always suspicious of my motives.

By invitation and through prayer, the Holy Spirit cut through all this with me. He helped me to take the focus off of myself and put it where it belonged… on God. He gave me a vision of true humility that would set me free from all of the internal angst that was my way of relating to myself. He helped to put my motives in perspective and purified my intention. He did this with my cooperation and applied will but it is His grace that “makes it stick.”

 Invite Him to do the same work in you.

You know those phrases.. no guts, no glory... no pain, no gain. They remind us that any dream worth dreaming, any endeavor worth pursuing is going to cost us something. We may need to give up our comfort, our control, our sense of equilibrium in order to reach the goal or attain the heights upon which we set our sights. So be it. Most times the journey is just as important as the destination....the process as important as the end product. The most important thing is that we don't give up what is most important... our relationship with God, our integrity, our Truth. Here is a prayer that helps and there are many versions of it. It may help to keep you focused on what is important.

Newman “Service” Prayer

God has created me to do some definite service

God has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another

I have my mission….I am a link in a chain a bond of connection between persons

God has not created me for naught I shall do good- I shall do God's work

I shall be an angel of peace

a preacher of truth in my own place while not intending it

if i do but keep the commandments

Therefore I will trust God

In acceptance there is peace

This was always one of my very favorite phrases. I had heard one of my Christian mentors say it on the radio when I returned to the Church and it resonated with me because at that time my life was anything but peaceful. So, when my world was rocked, when things didn’t go my way, when I was treated badly, I would repeat this phrase like a mantra to myself.

                                                 In acceptance there is peace.

It helped me to swallow a lot of grief, pain, terror and shame. I thought I was being a good Christian and applying a spiritual principle that would help me to cope with some of the chaos that was swirling around me at the time. What I found out though, was that this phrase must be applied correctly or it can truly do some harm. The key word in the phrase: acceptance is very often misused and misapplied. It can be used a crutch or a cover-up. Here’s what I mean.

Acceptance does not mean resignation. In other words acceptance does not dictate that you should resign yourself to a bad or brutal situation. It doesn’t mean that you allow or make excuses for abuse or mistreatment. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you skim the surface of your life thereby avoiding deep feelings or difficult situations. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you look the other way when the house is on fire or when you or someone else is falling off a cliff.

Acceptance means that you evaluate a person, situation or experience accurately…as it TRULY is, acknowledge that and respond appropriately.

I want to repeat that:

Acceptance means that you evaluate a person, situation or experience accurately…as it TRULY is, acknowledge that and respond appropriately. Acceptance requires that you make a judgment. You use your intellect and your will to make a determination. You stand back, observe, feel, experience, and ponder. Then you act.

For many years, I was not able to get out of the abusive and self-defeating relationships and patterns of behaving that I seemed hopelessly locked into until I observed and absorbed what was REALLY happening in my life and my interactions with others. What I found when I was finally able to face what was going on was startling and inspiring at the same time. The temptation to retreat back in shame and horror was strong but I had to face the music of my own soul. It was calling me to freedom and I had to follow.

A lot of energy, attention and drama go into denial. Denial never leads to peace… just more confusion and entanglement. In my case, it led to an overwhelming, crippling and disfiguring fear in my spirit. I say disfiguring because it was a fear that so damaged my interior relationship with myself that my whole way of looking at the world outside became distorted. I tried desperately to hold onto my Self… but she kept slipping away until finally one day I woke up, and she was gone. (There’s more on that, later.)

Diversion and deflection from an interior honesty can become habitual. In most cases, we learn it from a very early age. The result is that we continually and insidiously deny our own TRUTH; we abdicate our very selves for the sake of someone else. The trouble is… this is NOT the kind of “lying down of one’s life” that Jesus talked about, nor is it very Christian. It is self-hatred in a holy suit.

Now that “someone else” that we are “laying down” for can be the person that happens to be in the room with us at the time or it can be someone from our past, usually a parent, who we are still trying to please or bond with way after the fact. In either case, we are living out an impossibility, we are walking in a fantasy, and we are lying to ourselves.

God, in His infinite mercy, won’t leave us alone in this state. Because He is Truth, Itself, He is the way to a life of peace. I mentioned before that I was once crippled by fear. To say it more accurately, I was crippled by the denial of the fear I felt every day of my life until one day I could deny it no longer. It came crashing through with the fierceness and force of a raging tsunami and it overtook me. 

For the period of about two months, I was completely shattered by the weight of a lifetime of pain and fear, most of which I had tried to deny. The truth of my life was ugly and the wounds had gone on festering and unhealed for far too long. I had “accepted” the unacceptable. I had buried a truth that was too painful to even look at in the light of day.

Yet I can say in complete honesty that I was fortunate. I was blessed that I had finally reached a point and found a place in my life that was safe enough to observe, feel, experience, and ponder that truth. I believe that only God could have brought me there.

And by accepting that truth, He set me free. And He can do the same for you. He infused me with a life-giving courage and transformed me from the inside out. He took away my fear and He showed me that beyond all shadow of a doubt that in true acceptance there is always, always His peace.

My prayer is that He brings you to that place of mercy and grace, as well.

"My grace is sufficient in you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..."(2 Corinthians 12:9) These were the words that the Lord spoke to St. Paul when he begged Him to remove a "thorn in his flesh"... We don't know what it was, but it was something that was very troublesome to Paul and he felt he could be a better person and apostle without it....and Jesus reminded him that his limitations and weakness have a purpose

and at the very least they remind him that his confidence must COME FROM JESUS...and not from his own performance

The same holds true with us. We are all pretty weak... and in another place in the Bible it states that we can do NOTHING without Christ. But that doesn't mean that we don't have real and important gifts and charisms that we are called to develop and use in whatever endeavor we happen to be involved in.

In fact, we must strive to reach our full potential and work very hard in spite of our weakness... but at the end of the day.. the focus of our hearts and minds should be on God's grace which is sufficient and wonderful and always available to us in all of our moments... weak and strong... so that we might bring glory to Him in all that we do....

Loosen my grip, Lord!  That is the prayer that I found rumbling around in my heart this morning and I wasn't even aware that I was holding on to anything, really. But the Holy Spirit must know something that I am not quite aware of yet... so I have been silently praying the prayer all day. Then I found this really neat picture:   and I realize that the more that I let go of all of my pre-conceived ideas of the way my life should go, or the lives of those around me, for that matter, the more I am able to receive what Jesus wants to give me. It gives life an adventurous quality, for sure, but when I surrender my timelines and my expectations for a particular outcome, then I am always so deliciously surprised by what God has planned! His surprises can be pretty awesome and wonder-filled.

Remember this: The tighter your grip, the narrower your world becomes. The more you try to control, the less room you have for spontaneous joy.  If we have to labor at anything... let it be the work of surrendering to Jesus.

It's a good deal... Lord, loosen my grip! 

2010 Promises to be a breakout year for many.

It will be challenging for those brave souls who are choosing to step out of the comfort zones of their ordinary lives and embrace a live driven by the Holy Spirit and filled with renewed purpose and joy.

There has never been a better time than RIGHT NOW to pursue a "higher calling" whatever that may mean for you.

For some, it means stepping out in radical trust to embark on a healing journey, hand and hand with the Lord.

for another it could be

Realizing a life long dream by applying the discipline, faith and gifts to get it done.

for you- maybe a new way of thinking is needed, a better means of coping or an empowered strategy to change self defeating patterns into life-giving and self satisfying ways of relating to yourself, your God and others!

2010 can be YOUR YEAR to realize your spiritual calling and potential.

No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, the HOLY TRINITY is

right there with you and all together~~ YOU ARE A POWERFUL TEAM!

It would be an honor and a blessing to accompany you on that journey!

Pray, Pray and Pray and then check out the Spiritual Coaching Services Link on my website at

(www.charismatacoaching.com )

Remember... Your life is God's most precious gift to you... what you do with it is your gift to Him!!

Peace, Anne Costa

This morning the Lord gave me a prayer to share, so I put it on the Prayers and ainspiration page but also wanted to put it here:

LORD HELP ME

Lord, help me to embrace my fragility so that I may know Your strength

Lord, help me to accept my poverty so that I may share in Your Joy

Lord, help me to set clear boundaries so that I may stand firm and confident in Your love

Lord, help me to be wholly honest with myself so that I can truly be humble like you

Lord, help me to make peace with my unknowing so that I can receive Your wisdom

Lord, help me to confess my sinfulness, so that I may walk in Your mercy

Lord, help me to let go of my fears, so that I may experience Your peace

Lord, help me to claim my inheritance as your child, so that I can be free in my spirit

Lord, help me to live always through you and in you and with you so that I can be who you

call me to be

Lord, help me.

Amen.

I recently had the pleasure of writing for this wonderful publication known as My Daily Visitor.  You can access it on line at the following address

http://www.osv.com/MyDailyVisitor/tabid/7626/Default.aspx

I wrote the reflections for January 2010 and it was a great opportunity. It's put out by Our Sunday Visitor

and they put out some wonderful, faith-filled material.  It was a real honor to be able to write for them!!